Being a parent is no child’s play, they are expected to support, to guide, to protect, to advice and to love unconditionally. It becomes rather worrisome when it’s the other way around.

As a child, you might be inclined to think it is your fault but I assure you it isn’t. Life just hits hard sometimes and parents make bad decisions or turn to drugs just to cope with life’s challenges. If you are unsure as to whether or not your parent is an addict, here are some tell-tale signs;

Behavioural signs include; not showing up for work, showing up intoxicated or showing up late and regularly missing important meetings. Sudden financial problems, and legal troubles related to substance use should be looked out for.  Not hearing from your parents for weeks at a time.

If you do still live at home, you might find that your parents are less engaged in what you are doing. They might seem wrapped up in their own world and they rarely ask you about your own life. Staying out later than normal, sleeping all day, mood swings and blatant dishonesty are also good indications.

Physical signs might include; sudden changes in weight or appetite, paying less attention to personal hygiene – teeth and hair are left unbrushed, clothing is left unchanged and showering is neglected, bloodshot eyes, unusual changes in pupil size, pale skin, slurred speech, or even body odours.

Psychological signs of substance abuse include paranoia, a sudden loss of stamina or extreme increase in energy, irrational bursts of anger, and unexplained changes in personality.

 If perhaps, your parent is showing one or two symptoms above, it is pertinent you get them support. I know it might be hard but like they say hardest decisions are often the ones we need to take.

The role assumed by the parent goes a long way in the recovery of an addict. You often find parents assuming certain roles such as being overbearing or too caring as coping mechanisms. There is a tendency for parents to feel angry, guilty, tired, ashamed, afraid or even fed-up, sparking communication barriers, this could be however detrimental. 

As a parent, supporting your children is the foremost thing to do. Your job is to be their advocate, crying shoulder, and cheerleader when they need it most even on days you do not feel motivated to.

Many parents have a preconceived idea towards addiction and believe it is a choice, yes initially but overtime it’s beyond their control. Parents therefore need to educate themselves on mental issues, be less critical and judgemental.

Maintaining constant and effective communication throughout their treatment and recovery is also very helpful. Not excluding them from family activities like barbeques, picnics, parties and so on can make them feel more welcome and less self-conscious.

Parents have to also be mindful of being an example of strength for their children. By making positive lifestyle changes in yourself, getting help, including a positive outlook, you can better help your son or daughter through the recovery journey.  Joining family support groups to protect your mental health and make you better equipped to handle your child.

Certain family issues contribute to or worsen addiction such as relationship problems, financial struggles, unresolved past issues, personality conflicts, anger and resentment. All of the above issues cause stress and tension in the home and could be triggers for those with active addictions. It is therefore up to the parent to put the home in order and make it a healthy space for their child’s recovery.